Ladies and gentlemen I’m a mad scientist.
I’ve taken some bad drugs to see if I’m limitless.
The thing is this, I don’t know what they’ll do.
I’ve not checked the effects, from my sex drive to my nervous system.
I don’t have high hopes for my disposition.
But my line of work, it’s all about pushing the boundaries.
I’m a chemical blacksmith and this is my foundry.
They say drugs are bad but I know they’re bound to be.
Because round our street, the place I grew up, we experimented.
I was a terror with test tubes.
Putting every chemical under the sun to best use.
Leaving my subjects a mess ‘cos they expect abuse.
But make no mistake, this is no cruel punishment.
I’m here to astonish those that can stomach it.
Except those on a bad trip that descend into funny fits.
Got the money to pay? Your brain will end up in runny bits.
Or you’ll float and fly.
Take a toke of what I’ve got, don’t be shy.
Get red eye as your pupils dilate, hips gyrate and sense of shame says goodbye.
Fellow scientists tend to love my lab too.
Like kids on a sugar rush playing with test tubes.
They often get burned though.
Trying to steal my secrets I weed out the turncoats.
Those that once showed loyalty end up learning the hard way.
I’ll slip you something on the sly and rewire your DNA.
But don’t get me wrong, I enjoy my work.
The stuff I give people makes them smirk or go beserk.
That’s the risk you take.
I’ll insist you try everything on my list before you bend and break.
There’s always a chance we’ll stumble on a magical formula.
One that’ll warm you up and light up your nebula.
Back in the lab you double drop and become a love fiend.
Your heart stops as seratonin fills your blood stream.
With this ecstasy you can hardly breathe, but go again.
Needles, powder, poppers, they’re all your friends.
God, when did this happen?
I’ve moved from scientist to pimp.
Peddling pills and potions to give punters a thrill explosion I’ve lost my way.
I want to be bad and spend time in my lab but at what cost do I get to play?
It’s time I remembered how to make shit.
Mixing the right drugs I need to get back to basics.
But let’s face it, selling product is amazing.
Some say it’s a lazy phase but I’m awash with cash.
I’ll crush the competition, I’ll get tough and all that jazz.
But as I said at the start, I’m a mad scientist.
Those bad drugs worked but I’m just not limitless.
And the thing is this, the money’s all gone.
I’m all washed up my career down the john.
And there’s heavies at the door ready to collect.
So with my last intellect I spy a way out.
Hurray! A blue pill went astray.
I move fast like a greyhound.
I pop it and go euphoric, all my troubles fade away.
This scientist will live to pimp his wares another day.
At least, that’s what I hope and pray.
Chances are I’ll find out the hard way.