A letter to my inner narcissist

PART ONE: AN INTERVENTION
Words are words.
And sometimes, words hurt.
Like a simple thing said in a simple way can cut deeper than a curse word.
So if you think I can kill you with a turn of phrase.
Just know that I’m holding back a worse verse.
From beginning to middle to end, it’ll get tougher and tougher.
Till you’re wishing for that comfort of my first third.
Like a drunk the morning after.
Wondering how it all kicked off.
What was it you first slurred?
You sly spy, thinking you’re James Bond but your game’s gone.
And now you’re proper shaken and not stirred.
God’s gift giving women short shrift.
Telling mates, ‘Let’s go chat up these hot birds.’
But they see through you.
Cos you’re vain, narcissistic and self-obsessed.
Maybe you should give your old self a rest?
And form a new body.
One that’s nicer to people.
Instead you seem to have decided you’re evil.
Thinking you’re above the masses.
That your lies are so regal.
The slick venom you spit so thick.
It’s like you’re hiding in treacle.
Employing fantastic dirty tactics.
Cos it’s abundantly clear that you just can’t fight legal.

PART TWO: THE FIGHT BACK
So now, Mr Narcissist, the gloves are off.
And I won’t be hitting a wall soon.
Cos it’s a full moon.
And I’m coming at you with the Hounds of God.
Hunting you down round the clock.
So just when you start to get complacent and think I’m about to stop.
I’ll bring insane pain.
Like Jet Li on a jet-ski.
And go for your throat with a resounding chop.
Have you choke on your words till your tongue burns.
Like you couldn’t taste chilli but now it’s hot.
Cos I’m iron born and fire formed.
I’ll pray as I throw you to the waves and drown this God.
You’ll be pissed, screaming at mist.
Seeing ghosts all around you in this howling fog.
Cos I’m building walls in my psyche.
Watch me mount these blocks.
So with each brick in place I’ll put you in a sicker state.
Square peg in a round hole.
I know you won’t fit this shape.
Balling up your emotions in a fist of hate.
But I kinda know you want to change.
So my help in this matter is probably a gift you’ll take.
Cos when you’re nice to people, they’re nice back.
This is no twist of fate.
So go ahead, look at me blank.
Like what I’m saying just won’t translate.
But if you don’t evolve you’ll just stay cold.
And from this, Mr Narcissist, there’s no escape.

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