Best films of 2012: Haiku reviews

A few months ago I attended a writing class for work. One of the tasks was writing Haiku poems. In case you’re not familiar, these Japanese poems are made up of three lines with five syllables, then seven, then five.

From the class I found I quite enjoyed making these up and have decided to review my top films of 2012 in Haiku form. Originally I was going to remove the names of films to see if you can guess which is referenced in each Haiku, but that’s tough. Instead I’ll just say enjoy, comment and share with your friends. Hopefully they will inspire you to write your own.

skyfall bond scotland aston martinSkyfall

Sky is caving in
Angry komodo dragons
Flamboyant villain


Act like a big shot
Pretend you’re Canadian
Fool customs, go home

Moonrise-kingdomMoonrise Kingdom

A guy and a girl
Fall in love and run away
Scout troop hunts them down


Old Bruce and young Bruce
Time travel, blunderbuses
Fries brain like an egg


Guy with bipolar
Teams up with sexy, mad girl
Somehow wins dance comp


Lads find hole in ground
Gain powers yet lose control
Then film their downfallavengers_duo

Dark Knight Rises

Bad guy wears strange mask
Has funny voice, breaks the bat
Gets shot by the cat


Bickering heroes:
playboy, soldier, spy, archer,
god, scientist. Save world.

ted dinnerTed

Furry, drunken friend
Brought to life by a boy’s wish
Firm thunder buddies

Life of Pi

Boy adrift at sea
Shares boat with hungry tiger
Survives against oddsiko the raid

The Raid: Redemption

Drug lord’s tower block
Police trapped deep inside
One guy fights way out

The Hobbit

Dwarves wash dishes
Bilbo’s riddles best Gollum
White Orc loses arm

Beasts-of-the-Southern-Wild-chickBeasts of the Southern Wild

Name of Hushpuppy
Learns to beast it in Bathtub
Stands up to Aurochs

Rust and Bone

Tragic accident
Brings unlikely pair closer
They then fall in love

seven-psychopaths-rockwell21The Master

World War veteran
Meets leader of a movement
They form a weird bond

Seven Psychopaths

Incomplete screenplaymcconaughey
Stolen Shih Tzu, mad gangster
Ends with a shoot out

End of Watch

LA cops roam streets
Fall foul of local cartel
Brothers to the end

Magic Mike

Empire of strip clubs
A guy named Mike is kingThe-Grey-9-007
Ladies of Tampa

The Grey

Plane crash in the snow
Stuck in middle of wolf kill zone
Plan? Punch your way out

21 Jump Street

Young cops back to school
Trying to bust a drugs ring
Trip balls. Fuck you science!

So there we go. I hope you enjoyed this little list. To finish, here’s a scene from Wayne’s World where Wayne realises Garth just unknowingly used a Haiku.

Brisfest 2012: A twisted tale of badgers and burlesque

brisfest 2012

brisfest 2012Along with 20,000 other music fans, I attended the first day of Brisfest music festival yesterday.

For those unaware of its origins it was created following the demise of the Ashton Court Festival, which started in the 1970s but was unable to continue as a free event and sadly closed.

brisfest 2012Organisers created Brisfest in 2007 to ensure the survival of a not-for-profit music festival in the city. Whilst previously held elsewhere, 2012 saw the event head to the picturesque Ashton Court Estate for the first time.

The festival’s aim is to support music, dance, art and food across the south west, with emphasis on local talent. That said, the increase in scale has seen it attract big-name headline acts this year including De La Soul, Roni Size and more.

brisfest 2012Yesterday myself and fellow festival goers were blessed with some great weather for this sold out event. Initially our group spent the afternoon wandering around soaking up the atmosphere: meeting colourful characters, posing with burlesque dancers, interrogating badgers and women on stilts, you know the drill.

Then, as darkness fell and everyone you know becomes an impossible-to-distinguish silhouette, the big acts stepped up. The penultimate act on the main stage was Beardyman. He delivered a bouncy, energetic set, using his unique set of beatbox skills and live looping.

brisfest 2012
He’s captivating to watch, half the time you forget he’s producing sounds and beats with that level of complexity using just a microphone. Check out a clip from his performance at Camp Bestival a few years ago. Unparalleled.

Then came the headline act, Jaguar Skills. A mash up DJ that rose to fame through mixtapes and hip hop. I consider him the lovechild of A-Trak, Skrillex and DJ Yoda. That may give some of you an idea of his style. If not, you’ll have to look those guys up and decide for yourself.

His Brisfest set was a montage of random voiceover clips and 70s and 80s samples, cut into fairly hard, aggressive, down and dirty dubstep. Check out this clip, the sound isn’t great but you get the idea.

I feel for the brave festival attendees today, the weather was awful. To compensate, they had a great lineup to close proceedings, in particular De La Soul who I imagine were wicked.

All in all yesterday – for me – was an enjoyable day. Cool music, crazy people and sunshine, what more could you ask for from a UK festival?

Jaguar Skills – listen and download a sample set here: