I like big butts and I cannot lie

Ok, fat people are an easy target, but mocking a tubby character in a film is still funny. Don’t believe me? Check out this little lot.

Bakery ain’t open yet – White Men Can’t Jump
You’re going to play some guys at basketball for money, but who holds the cash while you play? Wesley Snipes’ character solves this by handing it to the nearest fat guy with ‘He ain’t going nowhere, the bakery ain’t open yet.’ Can’t find the clip so here’s the original trailer.

I thought you said he was a getaway driver? – Snatch

“You’ve been on a rally course, ain’t you Tyrone? ‘Course I have’.” This scene is one of many darkly comic ones in Snatch. Watch as Tyrone spectacularly fails to get out a car, his leather jacket squeaking in protest.

Chunk finds ice cream – The Goonies

Every ’80s kid loves this coming-of-age film, a classic in every sense. Here we have Chunk, having broken into the bad people’s house with the gang, finds ice cream in a freezer, along with something else.

Danny jumps a fence – Hot Fuzz

Watch Sergeant Nicholas Angel (Simon Pegg) chase a mugger, his svelte frame lightly leaping fences like a gazelle. Follow this with impressionable copper Danny Butterman (Nick Frost) and his admirable, albeit short effort.

Bluto at the buffet – Animal House

Small scene, but a funny one. John Belushi’s Bluto Blutarsky stacking up his plate at lunch with way too much food. A girl comments, ‘That boy is a P.I.G., pig.’ Bluto responds. Cue a food fight.

Now you cry – Fight Club

Meatloaf as you’ve never seen him before, or ever likely to again. His name is Robert Paulson. Bob. You’re pressed against his big man boobs, ready to cry. Even babies don’t sleep this good.


Sin City 2: So who’s the dame?

jessica alba

Imagine the scenario. It’s been seven years since the first Sin City and the wheels are finally in motion for the follow up, however Rodriguez’s patience is wearing thin. Word is that cameras started rolling a few days ago, yet there are still parts to be cast. Myself – like many fans – were probably wondering why it’s taken seven years.

I suppose Miller’s failure with The Spirit meant he had to ‘take a break’ for a few years, at least until a studio were willing to back him again. I’m not sure I entirely buy that as sole reason for delay. Rodriguez directed the original and I’m sure he’ll be directing this one, particularly since his Barbarella remake stalled. Miller’s role has always been the script and – to a degree – the casting. So who knows why it’s taken this long. Best not dwell, let’s look at the story.

a dame to kill forA dame worth killing for
In terms of plot, the story takes place after the death of Hartigan but before some of the events of the first film. The story focuses on Dwight, who takes revenge on a woman who betrayed him, Ava Lord, the Dame.

At the same time, Nancy is trying to come to terms with the death of Hartigan (Bruce Willis), the man who saved her from Yellow Bastard in the first film.

In terms of script Miller has not been idle. He’s spent time ensuring there are no loose plot strands and that both films will mesh together effectively. With William Monahan, Oscar winning script-writer for The Departed, assisting on the final draft.

Last call for casting
Goldie (Jaime King) is on board and we’ve got a new deadly, little Miho (Jamie Chung). This is encouraging as Miho is meant to have a bigger part in A Dame to Kill For and Jamie Chung (Sucker Punch) is a bit of an up-and-coming actress.

jessica albaUsual suspects are all back: Marv (Mickey Rourke), skinny little Nancy Callahan (Jessica Alba), Bob (Michael Madsen), Gail (Rosario Dawson), and of course Dwight (Clive Owen). Dwight’s character undergoes facial surgery in this storyline, so it’s possible there will be another actor playing Dwight pre-surgery.

Sadly, actors Michael Clarke Duncan and Brittany Murphy passed away in the seven years between these two films. Their characters, Manute and Shellie, will have to be replaced and have yet to be cast.

So who will play Ava Lord?
Rodriguez and Miller’s original choice Angelina Jolie – whom I’ve spoken about in the past – is out of the picture, tied up with Disney’s Maleficent. She’s clearly going to be brilliant in that, but it is a kid’s film. She was born to play the ultimate femme fatale.

As a fan of Angie I reserve the right to act like a toddler and stamp my foot and demand she quits and heads straight to Rodriguez’s studio in Texas. Sadly it’s not going to happen.

Sin City 2She smells like angels ought to smell
Actresses that have their names in the hat to play Ava Lord include Salma Hayek, Rose McGowan and Rachel Weisz. For me, the latter is the most interesting. She’s never really played a full-on, seductive temptress but I think she’d be outstanding. Salma Hayek would slip pretty effortlessly into the role – anyone that’s seen her snake dance in Dusk Till Dawn would agree.

However, I have a feeling the role will go to Rose McGowan. For me, she’s the biggest unknown in terms of whether she’ll excel as Ava Lord. Whoever it ends up being, I’m sure they’ll be a revelation. We just need to wait 11 months to find out!