The labyrinth

Before long you’re lost and alone.
At first you feel like a forgotten King.
Like a boss on the throne.
Then paranoia sets in.
Where is home? Which way do you go?
Cos maps mean nuthin’ here sunshine.
This situation ain’t divine.
All you’ve now got is fear and time.
Maybe you deserve this?
It’s clear you’re here cos you’re worthless.
Like a broken banger it’s time you were put out of service.
You shiver at this predicament.
Body quivers like a bust lightbulb filament.
To escape this you’ll need to be diligent.
But right now, you’re a picture of innocence.
C’mon, snap out of it, get offensive and militant.
Stay loose for threats and be extra vigilant.
Cos with no way out you’re stuck here a permanent citizen.
And make no mistake, the road home will be tough and won’t pass without incident.
But you’re made from rough stuff.
Cheeky and a little bit impudent.
All you need to break free is some good, hard discipline.

But that’s all to come.
Right now, lost in thought, you’re stood static like a scared little rabbit.
Time to move fast, be rapid, cause havoc.
But, like Medusa, the maze she shifts.
As you focus your gaze she turns and twists.
The effect is odd.
Like an eclipse that plays tricks.
Can’t you climb the walls?
After all, they’re just bricks.
But their surface is like sheer granite glass.
Whoever has you trapped like a rat holds the power, but can it last?
Time you tracked them down.
And attack on two fronts in a tandem blast.
Cos this ain’t a case of mere random chance but a brutal assault.
So you stop, feeling guilty and futile like it’s all your fault.

But now is no time for introspection.
As the maze, she beckons, and you need to teach someone a proper crazy lesson.
In some sort of surgical strike with no phased progression.
Fainting left and right to keep them dazed and guessing.
Bring them the fight, so they’re grazed and tested.
Make them give up ground till they’re enraged and aggressive.
First though, you have to find where they’re hiding.
Sitting scared in their lair is where you find them residing.
Thinking they’re smart but alone with no one to confide in.
Last thing they want is to stop this fighting.
Maybe this is how it ends?
Maybe you can now be friends?
The thought, you think, is kind of exciting.

Best use of 80s electro songs in film

renton and diane

Ok, here are the rules. The songs had to have been released in the ’80s, but could have been used in any films during this time. Whether they introduce or accentuate a scene, or were the film’s theme song, each track is special to me in some way. Here’s my list:

‘Atomic’ by Blondie (1980)Trainspotting
This takes place in the Volcano club where Renton sees Diane and falls in love. Cue spaghetti western style guitar hook with sharp and punchy disco beats and Blondie’s warbling vocals.

‘What A Feeling’ by Irene Cara (1983)Flashdance
Damn Robert Webb’s sexy moves. If you can get past his version this was a great theme song, equally good as a stand-alone track without the dancing. It’s uplifting and empowering and arguably the female ‘Eye of the Tiger’ power song.

‘It’s A Sin’ by the Pet Shop Boys (1987)Bronson
If you’re a fan of Nicholas Winding Refn’s Drive you have to ensure you see his earlier film, Bronson, with Tom Hardy. Watch the psychiatric hospital scene. A scene that was expertly lifted by canny use of a killer track.

‘Don’t Go’ by Yazoo (1982)Tango & Cash
In this film we have both Kurt Russell and Teri Hatcher sporting some truly fantastic hair – all framed perfectly by Yazoo’s urgent, punchy track.

‘Together In Electric Dreams’ by Philip Oakey (1984)Electric Dreams
Trying to emulate the success of Flashdance, Oakey of The Human League recorded this in ten minutes. It worked too, becoming a bigger hit than the film it was promoting.

‘Love Will Tear Us Apart’ by Joy Division (1980)Donnie Darko
This track gets used in a pivotal scene where Donnie has to abandon his girlfriend in order to save her. One of Gyllenhaal’s best and most intelligent films to date.

‘Push It To The Limit’ by Paul Engemann (1983) – Scarface
Everyone loves an ’80s montage scene right? This one expertly frames Tony Montana’s rise to the top of the drugs world, as he consolidates his wealth and power.

‘Axel F’ by Harold Faltermeyer (1985)Beverly Hills Cop
I almost forgot this film and theme song, for shame! The ‘Crazy Frog’ version nearly ruined my affection for this track, but thankfully it was rekindled by the Peter Griffin rendition.

‘A View To A Kill’ by Duran Duran (1985)A View to a Kill
Peppered with sharp, urgent notes, this epic track perfectly captured the spirit of Bond during his ’80s pomp. For your listening pleasure, here’s the video.

‘Magic Dance’ by David Bowie (1986)Labyrinth
Despite the backing track sounding like it was lifted straight from a Cyndi Lauper record, it’s still a complete classic from a defining coming-of-age film for 80s kids like myself.

I’d loved to have included ‘Nightcall’ by Kavinsky, the theme to Drive, but it was released in 2010. It’s hypnotic, ethereal and very 80s.

So there’s my list. Any I missed you’d have liked to have seen?