Second chances

‘So this latest session was a minor indiscretion I’m guessing?’ she says.
And this time I know, there’s no second chances.
What I’ve done, there’s no way she’ll look past it.
Not with those glasses.
Magnifying her contempt like I’m a total bastard.

Cos right now, I feel like she’ll stab me in my sleep.
Like that Christmas dinner I ruined burning the turkey.
She’ll choke me as I breathe.
I relationship was built on lies you see.
Basically, I’ve flattered to deceive as she’s watched me squirm and scheme.
Leaving scorched earth in our forest like I’m burning trees.
I just didn’t want to hear it.
Crushing her spirit like I’m spurning dreams.
With no simple way out like Jack’s magic beans, brother please.
Most I can hope for is she doesn’t parade me at her lover’s feet.
Cos if I’m honest, I’ve had enough of this heat.
And need to learn fast how to govern the beast.

But then, when do I ever learn?
I’m less likely to evolve as a man more crash and burn.
There’s a special queue in hell for me.
And all I need to do is cash in my chips and wait my turn.
Sit patiently because my fate I’ll learn.
With cool calm she eyes me like a tennis player.
And I know she’s about to break my serve.
Cos I’m lying to myself thinking I can make this work.
So she lays down the law, her eyes raw.
And it’s clear to me she can’t fake this hurt.

Then I take a step back and assess the damage.
Her sweet face pains me.
I confess it now looks ravaged.
Her brow all creased up, her mood savage.
I did this.
Leaving her in a state of rude damage.
Looking at her I ask myself…
Do I walk away or do I choose to manage?
This thought makes me panic and I want to vanish.
Damn, this chick has baggage.
And honestly, she’s no easy challenge.
Yes, this is a special kind of hell I’ve brought on myself.
But there’s a way out if I can find the passage.

However, this rant right here, it’s all about me.
What are her wants? Her needs?
Cos right now I’m classed as an enemy soldier.
Camped down in the trenches when I need to be bolder.
Letting my conscious hide in the bunker.
When it should be sending me over.
Making me face my demons and embrace these feelings.
But corrupt thoughts consume me.
I need to chase those heathens.

But like a wretched vessel I sit here and wrestle.
With my warped psyche that I’ve put on this pedestal.
All the while she looks on with a glassy-eyed stare.
Eyes like pits of darkness as she plays with her hair.

Marriage advice from a geezer

Domestic life with the trouble and strife, the old ball and chain, her indoors, the wife.
We work well together, we’re a unit. Sometimes she makes me mad but I rarely lose it. ‘Cos when I do I’m clueless.
Being on the wrong side of the argument, I’m used to this.
My actions often sending her into looney fits.
She purses her lips and fixes me with a thousand yard stare, the rollers in her hair look set to blow, looking like scud missiles but they’re yet to go, they’re part of her armour and they’re meant to show that she’s in charge.
Things are coming to a head and a confrontation is looming large.
But as she stands there in her tatty bra, it’s clear that she’s my movie star and can do no wrong.
Although sometimes she gives me the silent treatment, which always feels like it lasts too long.
But before I know it, her dark mood has come and gone and she’s back where she belongs, back by my side.
Whatever caused our divide is now ancient history.
She puts on a front when she cuts me off but it’s clear that she misses me.
For when I’m in the doghouse I can’t get no sleep.

To make amends I’ll do whatever it takes. Whoever said I couldn’t learn from my mistakes?

But such is the life of a geezer. I like to live life on the edge with my wife, I like to tease her. I like to go to extremes but the bottom line is… I need her.
She’s my rock and without her I’m lost. I’ve got to change whatever the cost. At the end of the day I know she’s the boss.
So I’ll sign out by saying, when it comes to domestic life, whatever you do, for the love of God, take care of your wife.